My Facebook Stalker
We all have
different stages of our lives… childhood, defiant pre-teen, confused young adult,
building a career, starting a family , mid-life crisis, retirement... and the
like. I like to lovingly refer to the years of 2014 to 2016 as my “man-hating”
stage, perhaps you all have been there?
Why did I
hate men you ask? Well, like over 50% of Americans I had just gone through a
long and painful…painful is not quite the word... but let’s say incredibly disappointing
divorce. I am such a Type A person and this life that I had so strategically
planned fell apart… I was disappointed. I was mad at the man in the middle of
it all, there for I was mad at all men. Which really makes no sense at all but
like I said I was disappointed. I mean, that’s like your car breaking down and you
deciding that you are never going to drive again… a little irrational I know!
Now being
that 50% of the population is made up of Men, and that my profession involves working
directly with men this was kind of a problem. But I didn’t trust them as far as
I could throw them. In fact, I imagined a life dressed in black and praying to
the rosary would be much better suited to my current attitude, but being that I
wasn’t Catholic, I hated the color black, and the fact that I hadn’t even
stepped foot in a church in over 5 years… I kinda ruled that out as a possibility.
When my
divorce was final in December of 2015, I vowed that I would stay single for at
least one year. I automatically assumed that every man that said "Hi" to me was
hitting on me and there for I would give them my best “f-you” face, as my
mother calls it. I couldn’t even give off a hint of being interested. It
sounded like a great plan.
But then
there is this thing called Facebook, and the fact that I run a business and
have to be professional.
So on
January 28th, 2016 at 7:36PM less than 2 months after my divorce was
final I receive a message from a man that says, “What’s the Mosquito Endurance
Run”… is that an ultra? So a little background, I am race director for a
running event that takes place locally every year and receive emails and
questions about this event all of the time and I always answer them
professionally… regardless of what sex the sender is.
I respond
back with…” It absolutely is. You can find all of the information on our website. I
hope you will run with us.”
Typically
this is the end of the conversation because ALL of the information is on the
website but the man messages back…
“Great, I
will have to check my race calendar, is there a price increase anytime soon?”
Again, all
of the information is on the website but I answer his question and that is all
for now…
But…On Jan
29th I receive a message from the same man asking if I know of
anyone doing a bike race that weekend…
I respond
back that “I do not”, and start to wonder why he is still asking me questions….
I am getting suspicious.
He must have
sensed something because he backed off for two days… but then on Feb 1st this…
“By chance
did you go see the band Ruckuss the other night? My boss is one of the guitar
players and I hear they are pretty good. If you ever want to go see them
sometime let me know”
Okay… I did
go see the band the other night but how the heck did he know? This man is
stalking me… and you know what, I am going to stalk him right back.
So I went on
his Facebook page and did some looking around. He didn’t look like a serial
killer. Basically he had a bunch of pictures of him with friends at running
and cycling events. He had a warm smile and kind eyes. Now, I am a runner and cyclist, and had never
heard of him, but I did notice that one of our mutual Facebook friends was a
client of mine. So that week I asked what she knew about this man. “Is he an
axe murderer?” I asked. She got the biggest grin on her face and said. "No… I have known
him for a few years, and he is a really nice guy. I think you all would have a
lot in common."
That night I
did some soul searching… am I really going to let a broken heart close me off from
the world? Am I going to let one failed marriage at 33 years old determine my
relationships for the rest of my life? That sounded kind of stupid… maybe I
could un -hate 1 man at least enough for a 1st date….
Fast forward
two years… last weekend I finished a very challenging race. One that took me
two subsequent failures but one that I KNEW
that if I kept at… I would eventually figure out. Maybe love is the same
way? If we keep trudging along, and learning from our mistakes, we will eventually figure out and "win". The irony of this race was that the man that met me at the finish line in the
sub zero, -20 degree temperatures was the man who had the guts to send me a
message. He is my best friend and biggest supporter. He has restored my faith in
relationships, in love, and in the male species as a whole. I will always be grateful I took a chance on
him.
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