Sunday, January 7, 2018

My Facebook Stalker


 
My Facebook Stalker
 
We all have different stages of our lives… childhood, defiant pre-teen, confused young adult, building a career, starting a family , mid-life crisis, retirement... and the like. I like to lovingly refer to the years of 2014 to 2016 as my “man-hating” stage, perhaps you all have been there?
Why did I hate men you ask? Well, like over 50% of Americans I had just gone through a long and painful…painful is not quite the word... but let’s say incredibly disappointing divorce. I am such a Type A person and this life that I had so strategically planned fell apart… I was disappointed. I was mad at the man in the middle of it all, there for I was mad at all men. Which really makes no sense at all but like I said I was disappointed. I mean, that’s like your car breaking down and you deciding that you are never going to drive again… a little irrational I know!
 

Now being that 50% of the population is made up of Men, and that my profession involves working directly with men this was kind of a problem. But I didn’t trust them as far as I could throw them. In fact, I imagined a life dressed in black and praying to the rosary would be much better suited to my current attitude, but being that I wasn’t Catholic, I hated the color black, and the fact that I hadn’t even stepped foot in a church in over 5 years… I kinda ruled that out as a possibility.
When my divorce was final in December of 2015, I vowed that I would stay single for at least one year. I automatically assumed that every man that said "Hi" to me was hitting on me and there for I would give them my best “f-you” face, as my mother calls it. I couldn’t even give off a hint of being interested. It sounded like a great plan.
But then there is this thing called Facebook, and the fact that I run a business and have to be professional.
So on January 28th, 2016 at 7:36PM less than 2 months after my divorce was final I receive a message from a man that says, “What’s the Mosquito Endurance Run”… is that an ultra? So a little background, I am race director for a running event that takes place locally every year and receive emails and questions about this event all of the time and I always answer them professionally… regardless of what sex the sender is.
I respond back with…” It absolutely is. You can find all of the information on our website. I hope you will run with us.”

Typically this is the end of the conversation because ALL of the information is on the website but the man messages back…

“Great, I will have to check my race calendar, is there a price increase anytime soon?”

Again, all of the information is on the website but I answer his question and that is all for now…

But…On Jan 29th I receive a message from the same man asking if I know of anyone doing a bike race that weekend…

I respond back that “I do not”, and start to wonder why he is still asking me questions…. I am getting suspicious.

He must have sensed something because he backed off for two days… but then on Feb 1st this…

“By chance did you go see the band Ruckuss the other night? My boss is one of the guitar players and I hear they are pretty good. If you ever want to go see them sometime let me know”

Okay… I did go see the band the other night but how the heck did he know? This man is stalking me… and you know what, I am going to stalk him right back.

So I went on his Facebook page and did some looking around. He didn’t look like a serial killer. Basically he had a bunch of pictures of him with friends at running and cycling events. He had a warm smile and kind eyes.  Now, I am a runner and cyclist, and had never heard of him, but I did notice that one of our mutual Facebook friends was a client of mine. So that week I asked what she knew about this man. “Is he an axe murderer?” I asked. She got the biggest grin on her face and said. "No… I have known him for a few years, and he is a really nice guy. I think you all would have a lot in common."

That night I did some soul searching… am I really going to let a broken heart close me off from the world? Am I going to let one failed marriage at 33 years old determine my relationships for the rest of my life? That sounded kind of stupid… maybe I could un -hate 1 man at least enough for a 1st date….

Fast forward two years… last weekend I finished a very challenging race. One that took me two subsequent failures but one that  I KNEW that if I kept at…  I would eventually figure out. Maybe love is the same way? If we keep trudging along, and learning from our mistakes, we will eventually figure out and "win". The irony of this race was that the man that met me at the finish line in the sub zero, -20 degree temperatures was the man who had the guts to send me a message. He is my best friend and biggest supporter. He has restored my faith in relationships, in love, and in the male species as a whole.  I will always be grateful I took a chance on him.
 

 

 

 

Tuscobial Winter Ultra, 80 miles of "beautiful awful"


                                       Tuscobia Winter Ultra, 80 miles of "beautiful awful"

The Tuscobia Ultramarathon is an unsupported foot race between Park Falls and Rice Lake Wisconsin which takes place on the Tuscobia state trail. Runners, bikers, or skiers, must make their way along the trail carrying all they need to survive the race including emergency equipment. Other than one check point at mile 85, there is no outside help, and a participant will be disqualified if they take any help from crews or spectators.

I first heard about the race back in 2013, and like anything of this nature I was intrigued but said a big "hell no". One thing I have learned about myself is that anytime I say no to something I usually end up doing it, and this was no exception.

My first attempt was in 2016, I was totally unprepared and made it to mile 35. My second attempt in 2017 got me to mile 55 when the combination of blisters, a calf pull, and -15F forced me to take a VERY cold snowmobile ride to a gas station. This year I was determined to get the job done. I felt I had figured out my gear, my training, and was mentally in the right place.

The 80 mile bikers and runners started from a church in Park Falls at 10am on Saturday, temperature...-11, windchill -22. It's amazing how dressing right and moving can keep you warm in even the coldest temps.

My boyfriend Greg did the race as well, but we said our goodbyes in the first mile as I walk faster.
The sunshine was beautiful as I walked along the trail. I tried to take in all of this beauty as I knew I would not be able to do so when the pain set in.

I chatted with a very nice women from Green Bay for miles, but at mile 20 her water had froze and she stopped at a bar. I kept my water from freezing by putting a hydration pack under my winter coat and making sure that after every drink I blew the water out of the mouth piece and then tucked the mouth piece back in the coat. This worked like a charm until it didn't...more later.

I was moving smoothly along the trail as dark set in around 5pm. I was on pace to make it to the mile 35 check point at about 8pm. My goal was to eat 200 calories every hour which is a lot for me. I knew that if I continued to eat I would stay warm so no matter what, I DID. Trail mix, Oreo cookies, vegan protein cookies, Chex Mix, and peanut butter balls. All foods that I typically would not touch in my normal life.


As planned, I made it to the mile 35 Ojibwa check point at 8pm. My plan was simple, add an extra layer, change socks, fill water, eat, leave. I typically have issues with blisters but this year I discovered Injinji toe socks and Lueko tape. I taped my feet, wore a liner pair of Injinji's, and a pair of smart wool hiking socks. That seemed to do the trick but changing socks on the trail in frigid cold temps was a no no that day so mile 35 was my first sock change.

It was in Ojibwa that I noticed how wet I was. My snow pants, coat, and gloves were frozen until I went into the heated building. This was the first time I got scared. Although I had extra base layers, an extra coat, and gloves, I did not have pants. Some people sat around for hours trying to dry there things over the fire, I knew that if I did that I would be done. I figured that since I did not feel the moisture until I melted, my items would re freeze and I would be okay. I left the shelter in 15 minutes...back at it.

It's a 26.5 mile push from the shelter to the next town of Birchwood with not much in between. I saw the occasional snow mobile but other than that I was on my own. For some reason I began to get really tired at around 10pm. This happens to me in ultras but normally not until about 2am. I was not going to mess with the fatigue so I popped a caffeine tablet and kept at it.

I was glad I added the extra layer at Ojibwa as temps were dropping. At one point I looked at my phone which I kept tucked in my bra the whole time to stay warm, and the temperature was -22. I decided I was not allowed to look at the temperature any more.

The 26.5 miles from Ojibwa to Birchwood were long and the cold scared the total shit out of me. Anytime I would stop for more then 30 seconds I could instantly feel my core temperature drop. So if I had to stop I would run hard for 1 minute prior to stopping and then run for 1 minute after stopping.
I got to the Birchwood which is 16.5 miles from the finish at 5am. I knew that one of the sponsors of the race, Northern Lights snowshoes, was going to have a trailer for us to use. None of the gas stations were open which I did not plan on using anyway as I couldn't risk my clothes thawing out. I saw the trailer and a nice man helped me inside with an apology that it was not much warmer inside then out. I did not care, it had a chair and it was out of the wind. I decided it was time to take out my "oh shit" clothes. I added to my merino wool baselayer and Segoi fleece lined top, a down coat which I put under my Mountain Hardwear skiing jacket. Yup...I was wearing two winter coats. I then put a lumberjack hat over my Cold Adventure face mask and the goose down hood over that. My goretex Outdoor Research Alti Mitts with a goose down liner were frozen solid but were still keeping my hands warm so I was good there. I love those mittens by the way. When deciding whether or not to buy them at the price of $200 Greg said to me, "how much do you like your hands?" Turns out I like me hands a lot!

I left the trailer feeling like the kid brother from The Christmas Story but confident that I would stay warm. I knew I had 12.5 miles to the last 4 mile straight away to the finish. The first 12.5 were actually quite hilly and although my legs ached as if I had already ran 100 miles the hills were welcome as I was warm. I went to get a drink of water and noticed my mouth piece had frozen. My mouth piece had frozen even though it was tucked under one of my winter coats, "fuck it's cold!" I tucked it under both jackets.

Eating had also become a challenge at this point as I had to take my mitts off to get the food over my frozen solid face mask. I spilled a lot but managed to get calories.

I haven't mentioned the "hallucinations" yet...I kept seeing people, buildings, and signs that were not there. Basically my brain was making things out of the shapes in the woods, I didn't like it.


I turned onto the final 4 mile stretch to the finish line and all speed left my legs. I wanted to go fast but all I could do was look down at the ground and will my feet to take another step. I was emotionally and physically spent. I had been so afraid of the cold all night. I knew I had my emergency -20 degree sleeping bag but crawling into that bag was not an option. Movement was the only option. Now the sun was shining and I was warm. I allowed myself to slow down and feel the heat on that -18 degree morning. It was my reward for getting through the cold night.

I came into Rice Lake and off in the distance I thought I saw a sign on the trail. "Don't get too excited", I told myself, "it's probably another hallucination"! As I got closer I say that it was a sign directing us to the finish. I saw Greg, I saw the finish line and I bawled. All I could do was hug Greg and cry. I had never had this sort of an emotional response from a race before. I was so relieved to be done, to have tried, and tried, and to have finally finished.

It's funny how our bodies decide to get us to a certain point and then stop. I tried to take a few steps away from the finish line but almost fell over. Greg helped me into the KC hall where I was greeted by the race director Helen, and a few volunteers, and participants. I took a seat at a table and closed my eyes. Helen brought over my award, a red finisher hat, and a first place female finisher medallion. "WHAT!!!" I explained! "Actually, only two men finished before you" she said. This came as a HUGE surprise to say the least.

To say that this is the hardest thing I have ever done is an understatement. I felt as if I ran over 100 miles and I was mentally done for. I don't know if I would ever do this again. In fact, I was signed up to do the Arrowhead 135 this year but Tuscobia taught me that I am neither physically nor mentally prepared to go for it this year and that is okay. I have a whole new respect for the 160 mile distance at Tuscobia...I can't even wrap my mind around doing that course twice.

To summarize, my experience was awful and beautiful. It taught me a lot about myself and my limitations. The winter has a way of stripping you down to your bones.


Gear List
-20 degree sleeping bag, not goose down
-Bivy Sack
-Sleeping Pad, Therma rest
-Esbit stove
-Merino Wool base layers
-cheep (but warm) snow pants from White Seria
-Mountain Hardwear Conduit Ski Coat
-Goose Down coat from Eddie Bauer
-Segoi fleece lined top
-Arcterix insulated jacket, wore until mile 63.5 then replaced with down.
-Alti Mitts from Outdoor Research
- Cold Avenger face mask
-Two polar buffs
- 3 hats, one lumberjack (bomber) hat
-Injinji liner socks
-smart wool hiking socks
-Altra Lone Peak, goretex boots, one pair
-4000 calories to eat, ate about 3000
- 1 jar of peanut butter (required)
-Nathan 2L hydration pack, drank 4L total
-Expedition sled